Undoubtedly many of devotee children of AMMA (Of course AMMA does not like the word “Devotee”) who have seen, heard and touched HER are feeling a great void in their lives in view of HER physical absence. Many a time the question crops up in their minds “Where is AMMA? Is SHE still amongst us?"
Their doubt is justified because AMMA often used to say “Where I will go leaving all of you? I will be here only (at Jillellamudi). You may not be able to see me but I will always be able to see you. I am a witness to an incident corroborating this fact. Just a few days before AMMA leaving HER mortal frame, a teenaged girl came in to AMMA’s room with her wedding card and placed the same at HER lotus feet. Intently looking at the card AMMA said will not be able to do anything for you but I shall witness the event. (Normally AMMA used to bless the bride by placing Kum-kumTilak (Bottu) on the forehead, place HER garland around the neck, shower a heap off lowers over the head, present new saree and finally feed some sweets).
As the years rolled on after AMMA’s entry in to Sanctum Sanctorum of ANASUYESWARALAYAM (AMMA’s temple at Jillellamudi) many of us started having experiences where AMMA's presence, protection and guidance is established beyond doubt.
I Will now place before you some related experiences.
While AMMA shed HER body in the year 1985 an idol of AMMA was installed in the temple during the year 1987. When my elder son Rajeswar was born in the year 1989, I felt little disappointed because AMMA was not amongst us and had SHE been there physically, like any child AMMA would have placed him in HER lap, taken into her arms and cajoled him. Invariably SHE used to wrap the little ones in a very soft cloth and hand over to the respective mother with abundant love and grace flowing through HER eyes. I felt that we missed all this memorable events. After a couple of months AMMA appeared in my dream taking Rajeswar in HER lap, took him in to HER arms placed Kumkum on his forehead and smiled at me as if to tell “see I am here and fulfilled your desire”.
During one of those early days when AMMA has taken the form of an idol in the temple, I was standing in front of Sri Rajarajeswari idol (in the temple at Rajarajeswari Nagar, Bangalore) and a stray thought has occurred in my mind. Now, what is the difference between here and Jillellamudi? At both the places AMMA is in the form of idol. Previously I could talk to AMMA (Many of us firmly believe that AMMA is but Rajarajeswari in human form) and SHE would respond. With a feeling of sadness I left the temple but never shared these thoughts with anybody, not even with my family members. Unexpectedly, in less than a weeks time AMMA appeared in the dream of my wife Lakshmi and said He (that’s me) thinks that I am not talking to him now-a-days. Let him think so". Is AMMA observing us and our thoughts?
In the year 1993 Lakshmi had to undergon abdominal operation and the Doctors have administered Anesthesia. Even before the drug has taken its full control over the body, she had a vision in which AMMA placed her across HER lap, opened the abdomen, shown the internal parts including the part where operation would take place, and even explained the procedure of surgery. Finally SHE said my job is over now, they (Doctors) will do the rest. Can we deny HER presence even today?
Almost similar experience re-occurred when my second son Raghavendra was to be operated for Appendicitis in the year 2006 at Bangalore. Being Asthmatic he was at risk and Doctors had taken highest precautionary measures. As he was being taken in to the operation theatre on the stretcher, I thought it would have been better if some elderly person was available with me at this crucial time. Then I brushed the thought aside saying to myself that AMMA is with us and who else can be more elderly than HER. Soon after gaining the consciousness Raghavendra told that as he was drifting in to unconscious state AMMA came to him, seated on his bedside and said Have no fear Nanna! Get operated. You will be alright and will be able to eat whatever you want. Having spoken so, she applied lot of kum-kum all over his body and disappeared.
In my house whenever AMMA appears in our dreams it is a joyful event as we once again see HER and hear HER voice. Next day morning there will be a session amongst all the family members to share the content of the dream. Having heard us like
this many a times, my elder son Rajeswar who was around 7 years of age questioned me as to why AMMA does not appear in his dream. Honestly I had no answer except to say that one should pray and request AMMA to appear in his dreams. Taking these words of mine in its true perspective, young Rajeswar used to go near AMMA’s photo and request HER. It went on for several months with no result. He once again approached me with an agitating mind that nothing happened and he did not see AMMA. I responded by saying that it is not in our hands and AMMA appears in dreams only if She so desires. We should only continue to pray HER. His prayers continued. Let me tell you that at this age neither he has seen AMMA physically nor visited Jillellamudi. One fine morning he woke up shouting joyfully HAVE SEEN AMMA, I HAVE SEEN AMMA. He went on to describe the dream where he saw AMMA in HER room seated on her cot. Holding his hand SHE led him on to the terrace from where he saw green fields all around, a distant arch, many huts and a temple (exact scene of Jillellamudi). Having returned to HER room, she had shown an album containing photos of many persons to Rajeswar. When Rajeswar asked AMMA as to who these people are - AMMA replied saying that all those persons were with HER and worked in the House of ALL(i.e. AMMAs abode). Thrilled by this Darshan I asked Rajeswar what else AMMA said to him. He replied that AMMA said Listen to your mother and obey. This was a final confirmation of reality of the dream as during those days Rajeswar was impertinent and used to simply ignore his mothers words / advice.
Sri D V N Kamaraju of Hyderabad who is my dearest friend for nearly past 40 years (in fact I came to know about AMMA in his house only) has a few memorable experiences. When AMMAs idol was ready and was to be brought to Jillellamudi for installation, he was also part of our team who visited Mahabalipuram from where the idol was to be transported. At the very first sight, the idol of AMMA was not all that appealing to him and thought that the profile of idol is not like AMMA whom we knew. However we had no choice but to reconcile with the circumstances and from now on we have to respect and worship this idol assuming it as AMMA. Pooja and Arti were performed to the idol before the same was loaded into the old Nissan Van brought from Jillellamudi specially for the purpose of transporting
Amma’s Idol from Mahabalipuram to Jillellamudi. Van’s floor was thickly covered with hay to provide a cushioning effect to absorb the shocks and impulses during the journey. Few of us sat around the idol and Kamaraju at the feet of the idol on the left side chanting AMMA’s Namam (Jayaho Mata Sree Anasuya Rajarajeswari Sree Paratpari). As the Engine started, Van moved with a jerk. instinctively, Kamaraju placed his hand on the shoulder of the idol as if to prevent it from falling. (Actually the idol is very heavy and this was never to happen). Next moment, he had the SHOCK OF HIS LIFE!! The feel of hard black Granite stone idol of AMMA was SOFT and SMOOTH. It was as soft as AMMA’S body and the feeling WAS EXACTLY THE SAME when he used to touch AMMA during his visits. With this nostalgic perception, he underwent a burst of emotion and ecstasy which came out in the form of uncontrollable flow of tears / sobs. This went on for a pretty long time, while we on lookers were perplexed and observing silently. Mother has done the trick with just this incident - which appears insignificant to others, has a devastating effect on our friend, dissolving all his doubts and dissatisfaction that the Idol which he was accompanying is not one made out carving lifeless stone, but is vibrating with the Cosmic Power of AMMA.
The marriage of our common friend Sri V Dharma Suri had taken place at Jillellamudi in November, 1981. It was a Grand Gala affair where AMMA had taken personal interest in each and every minute detail. AMMA with all HER brilliance and Glory was very active and enthusiastic on the dais. No one, who was present on that day, can ever forget the joyful, radiant glow in AMMAs face and eyes. Having witnessed this memorable event, a seed of desire germinated and soon took shape of a giant tree in the mind of Kamaraju. The desire is that he should also get the marriages of his daughters performed through the Divine Hands of AMMA at Jillellamudi in the same Grand manner and the two knots of Mangalsutra should be tied by AMMA.(At Jillellamudi, in a marriage performed in the Divine presence of AMMA, AMMA HERSELF used to tie two knots leaving one knot to be tied by the bridegroom. This is considered as an extraordinary blessing of AMMA, especially because only a few marriages have taken place through the divine hands of AMMA).
His elder daughter Anasuya’s marriage was finalizes and has taken place in October 2007 at Hyderabad . It was also a grand function where many of our devotee brothers have attended. The function was yet to start and suddenly sister Smt. Potturi Vijayalakshmi rushed to me in an highly ecstatic state and pointing at the dais said See AMMA. See AMMA. I presumed that she is pointing at the large photo of AMMA placed on the dias and said "Yes, it is really wonderful". She was unable to speak in that state. After a few moments regaining calm posture sister Vijayalakshmi proceeded to say No, its not photo. I saw AMMA standing there on the dais.... LlVE!lHolding the Mangalasutra high up (At the time of marriage AMMA used to hold the Managalsutras high up and show it from all sides / angles to the gathering). I had a mixed feeling of surprise and joy. After an hour my wife Lakshmi came to me and said Did you see AMMA standing on the stage in flesh and blood? No was my prompt answer with a regret that I was not blessed to have HER Darshan.
The conclusion is - a strong, ardent prayer made at Jillellamudi never remains unfulfilled. Even though with passage of time my friend Kamaraju got engrossed in his daily chores of profession, education of the children etc., and his desire that AMMA should perform his daughters marriage is dissolved in oblivion, it is not so with AMMA. She did fulfill his Prayer and amply demonstrated through Her appearance on the stage in flesh and blood on the day of marriage. She thus proved once again HER eternal presence.
I am sure many of AMMAs children definitely would have many more such experiences where AMMA’s promise that SHE will not leave us gets confirmed again and again.